RUBBISH DAY TODAY-

I'm clearing out the shed and under the house today, sorting things into junk, keep, giveaway and sell piles.

I've loaded up the trailer and am off to the refuse transfer station.

I'm not looking forward to this because:

• I hate reversing the trailer (as I don't use it very often) and the entrance way is narrow
• It's windy and stuff will fly around if I don't secure it properly
• It's bloody expensive
• I hate throwing things away.

ONE MAN'S MEAT IS .....

It's interesting (and disturbing) reading about the difficulties that New Zealand meat producers are having getting meat shipments into China at present. The problem is supposedly due to the fact that the previous Ministry of Ag and Fish changed name to the Ministry of Primary Industries with the new name now appearing on all official documentation like Certificates of Origin etc.

I have experienced similar difficulties with wine shipments to China with the Chinese authorities spitting the dummy when documentation from other official sources (other that those they've be used to) is used. Their answer is just to stop the process which can only be started up again with a little lubrication (brown paper bag full of something enticing).

This from a country that:

Counterfeits anything and everything they can;

Poisons its own people regularly;

Poisons pets and people in overseas countries.

 Go figure.

THE MAN WHO SUED GOD

This was an OK Australian film that poked fun at religion and belief. The premise is that if god causes 'acts of god' then god or his representatives on earth, the church, are responsible and should pay for damages. If god is not responsible for 'acts of god' then it presupposes that god doesn't exist.

Silly? Yes but it raises interesting points of logic.

Today I read of some Americans who are suing the US Forest Service because a dead tree fell on their son while they were camping.

CLICK HERE

This begs the question of when individual responsibility for actions and ends and when the state is responsible for everything that we do. I know that in the USA people want to sue over just about anything but this story beggars belief.

DAISY, DAISY

....Give me your answer do....

We bought a tandem kayak from the neighbours.

It's in very good condition and came with paddles, the seats and a fishing rod holder. I'll have to go out and catch some snapper.

The Old Girl and I took it out on Monday for a trial. It's very stable and rides well. We went around the island in the bay and headed back along the beach line.
From the island to the beach I sat in the back and didn't paddle, letting the Old Girl do all the work. After a while she looked behind her and asked what I was doing. Actually she said "What the hell are you doing Matey?". I quickly came up with "I was just admiring the rippling muscles in your back my love". I think that sufficed but I'd better be careful about using that excuse too much.

SHIT HAPPENS

Zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt ( Paderborn , Germany ) fed his constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief. Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded.The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a rock as the elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of him. 

AND THE 'MEAN SPIRITED AWARD' GOES TO ........

...... The Cambridge Club.

The 2013 Curmudgeon Award

This bunch of miserable old bastards deserve the 2013 Curmudgeon for refusing to honour a promise made to the daughters of a deceased member (whose membership had not run out even though he had) when they enquired if his raffle ticket would still be valid. "Sure is" they were told and, when a few weeks later the ticket won the first prize of $900 (which the daughters said they would donate to a charity) the board of miserable old scrotes reneged.

IT'S WORTH BEING GRUMPY

Looks like you'll have me around a lot longer to moan about things.



READ HERE

The rewards of being a misery-guts I suppose.
Mind you, if I live a lot longer I'll be older and more infirm, and young people will just get younger and more disrespectful and the bloody music they play will get louder and worse and they'll get more disrepectful and my memory will get bloody worse and the young ones will get more disrepectful and we'll get even worse prime ministers than Shonkey and the bloody TV programmes will be worse and..........

IF I WAS A FILM DRIECTOR #1

If I was a film director and was making one of those thrillers that have the heroes trying to keep a step ahead of the villains, I'd throw in a bit of reality here and there even if it means the heroes fail or get wiped out.

How many times do we see scenes of people breaking into an office and having to access information on a computer. The camera shots switch from the hero busy downloading information and the villain arriving by car and entering the bulding. Back and forth it goes until the computer just finishes downloading and printing befoe the bad guy enters  as the good guy has slipped out a window or hidden somewhere.

Now in my reality take I would have the hero still  trying to boot up the computer as the bad guy arrives. The computer (as all computers do) would grind on for ages going through its start up protocol.

The villain would catch the hero sitting in front of the monitor as the Microsoft image appears and the welcoming music starts.

The villain would then knock the hero through the desk and probably killing him.

YOU GOTTA MOVE

I really liked this song when I first heard it and it has been a lifelong favourite.
The version I first heard and have listened to over the years has been the Rolling Stones' one on the album Sticky Fingers. I guess I'm not alone in thinking it was the definitive one.

This original one from the writer Mississippi Fred McDowell (don't you love those names? Maybe Richard (of RBB) should be calling himself 'Garden Road, Kelburn Richard Prowse') is better than the 'Stones' version.

Moving. Moving on. Yes, I think it's time. Not from where I live though. Bugger that. It is just so nice here. This weekend the weather is marvellous. I've been swimming each day (my weekend starts on Friday and goes through to Tuesday) and pottering about. Its been too hot to go walking and climbing the mountains around here - maybe tomorrow (early).

No, I'm thinking that it's time to move on work-wise. I will start looking soon for something a bit closer to home. I love it here.

AND WE ALL KNOW WHAT RHYMES WITH PROSSER

This fat fool made headlines this week in New Zealand and unfortunately has been reported overseas.

His ridiculous and racist comments, published in an article he wrote for a magazine clearly show how he should not be representing anyone in parliament.

This is a by-product of MMP, that flawed electoral system we (unbelievably) have, where people no-one votes for can get to parliament as an MP on a party ticket. This time its NZ First party.

But ..... then again his comments do reflect the opinions of a disturbingly high number of New Zealanders who are racist,insular and downright ignorant. Maybe collectively these morons would have voted the fat fool in anyway.

YAHBOO NEWS

"Search and Rescue officer John Dixon says since the man went out to sea on Thursday an extensive search has taken place and the search and rescue team have covered a 300 square metre area with helicopters and also searched with boats, divers and foot searches of the coast."

This was reported today by Yahoo News relating to a missing fisherman on the Wairarapa coast.

Web news is taking over from the traditional channels but as yet doesn't have the same standards that the others (used to) have.

Surely the dingbat who wrote this could have imagined 300 square metres (50 metres x 6 metres ) and thought that it was quite a small area - not enough room for helecopters, boats and foot searches.

HOLIDAY DIARY

Weather is so good at the moment.
We went kayaking at 7.30AM followed by a swim.
With no wind the water is so calm.
It's hot and balmy - ideal for reading and snoozing inside or under a tree as it is too hot to do anything outside.

The neighbourhood is dead quiet. Lovely.