THE CURMUDGEON EXPRESS

THE CURMUDGEON EXPRESS

Sunday, December 30, 2012

IBLOGGING ....

Which is  WEBLOGGING without the 'we'.

The internet told me that:


A weblog, sometimes written as web log or Weblog, is a Web site that consists of a series of entries arranged in reverse chronological order, often updated on frequently with new information about particular topics. The information can be written by the site owner, gleaned from other Web sites or other sources, or contributed by users.
A weblog often has the quality of being a kind of "log of our times" from a particular point-of-view. Generally, weblogs are devoted to one or several subjects or themes, usually of topical interest, and, in general, can be thought of as developing commentaries, individual or collective on their particular themes. A weblog may consist of the recorded ideas of an individual (a sort of diary) or be a complex collaboration open to anyone."

Which kind of explains why the 'we' has been dropped given that blogs are basically self-centred exercises by people who want to bang on about things in diary form.





Blogging is a much better diary tool than Facebook. A good and interesting blog requires effort, humour, intelligence and dedication in order for it to work. It is not about pathetic add-on ‘likes’ to generate frequency and volume although of course some blogs can be a bit pathetic.


There are good and serious blogs in which the creators write well-thought out and constructed essays. 




These can be a pleasure to read, are informative and, depending on the skill of the writer can be lightened with gentle humour. Not all 'good' blogs are interesting though, some being ponderous and self-righteous to the point of being priggish.



Bad blogs come in two basic types.













There are the poorly written types that have bad spelling:














There are those that are as boring as Facebook and Twitter entries.











And there are those that don't seem to have any purpose.







I prefer the other type of 'bad' blog. The one's where the writer has deliberately set out to annoy, shock or tittilate.









Like the one's that misinform.














Or the one's that berate, bludgeon or rant.













And the titillating ones.








Some people think that anything to do with the Internet, social media and modern technology is a young person's game.





Well that old guy Richard of RBB can put the lie to that as he normally lives on the 'net'.

He in fact, by the creation of lots of blogging alter-egos has managed to cover all types of blogs from the mundane to the fantastical and manages at times to shock, bore, distress and misinform. Everything but educate in fact unless you count the frequent and wearisome treatises on double basses although I guess that is covered by the 'boring' type of blog.

Richard hasn't quite exhausted his subjects topics (he has exhausted those he subjects his blogs to).





Even though there is a fair amount of crap in what he says it is always worth looking out for the next installments.

How dare he go away on holiday.




RAINING AGAIN

Just in time for New Year.


' Rain...rain...Rain...! '
Rain on tinned roof
Rain on concrete
Rain soaking into sands
Rain on soft earth
Rain on metal road
Rain on windscreen

Rain falling into the sea
Rain in the river

Rain on flowers
Rain on leaves
Rain under trees
Rain on hills

Rain on my skin…

Each with its own unique raga
Reverberates across the sky
On to the earth…

indira babbellapati



Saturday, December 22, 2012

BEACH ART

We went for a nice walk to Smuggler's Bay the other day.
Earlier the storms had washed a lot of sand away but I'm happy now that a lot has been dumped back.

Someone had made the effort to install some driftwood and stone art at the end of the beach












This was nice to see and makes me marvel at nature's own configurations.













Thursday, December 20, 2012

APPARATCHIKS

The Secretary of Education, Longstone has gone. I wonder how much that little one year exercise cost?
I was flabbergasted to hear on the radio news this morning, one of her defenders saying that .."to be fair she hasn't been here long and doesn't understand the culture.."
Well fuck me! Why the hell was she employed then?

Prat Parata has to be the next to go. Then Key. Then ....

Sunday, December 9, 2012

CATS PEE (WITHOUT THE GOOSEBERRY BUSH)

Willow the cat gobbled up the left-over asparagus from our roast dinner last night.
Asparagus, like Sauvignon Blanc, makes your pee smell funny. This is due to the methoxypyrazines in them. You may have heard that some Sauvignon Blancs smell like cat's pee.


What I am wondering is, if after eating the asparagus that Willow's pee smells any different?
I'm not going to put it to the olfactory test but I did notice that when she went for a pee in the garden she took an extra long time covering it up with dirt.

Monday, November 26, 2012

ITS COMING

Yes, Christmas is very close now. Prick Smith's are telling us that it is imperative to buy computers and electronics for loved ones. Big Pain in the Arse Furniture reckon that if you don't buy the mother in law a bed for Christmas there's something wrong with you and Count your pennies after shopping with them have Christmas hams on display already.

My reference is our Christmas tree.




This is outside our house at the bottom of the drive. It is one of many along the road by the beach but always flowers earlier than the others.

Merry Christmas I guess.

Friday, November 23, 2012

WAS JESUS A VAIN MAN?

Pope Benedict has revealed that Jesus was lying about his age. He really was about seven years older than he pretended to be.

See:

HERE

Why did he do this?

Was he trying to get into the pants of a younger woman?



Was he concerned about aging? (That middle East sun is tough on the skin if you don't have the proper skin lotions).



What does this mean to Christians?

Will Second Fiddle have to recalibrate his New Testament?
Will he have to get in another seven years praying to catch up?



Monday, November 19, 2012

GO GRANNY GO!

I was nearly run down by an old lady on a mobility scooter today.



She was hurtling along the footpath with a big grin on her face.
Obviously the meds are working.


I see that they have had problems in the UK.

See this link.

Speeding Grannies


As The Old Girl drives her car like a racing driver I imagine that when she gets to the age that requires a mobility scooter we'll have to get a modified one for her.

Saturday, November 17, 2012

IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER

On our recent Tasmania trip we took a boat ride from Launestown down the Tamar River.

It was pretty amazing.

About 2 Kms from the city was BEAUTY POINT.

I think only the Aussies could call this place that  ..... unless they were taking the piss.





Friday, November 9, 2012

THE PERFECT WOMAN

We went to the Freychinet Peninsular for walks yesterday. A couple of old buggers climbing up and down mountain tracks is a sight but I'm proud to say we managed the very steep u bits better than some half our age.
The Old Girl is good to have around on little tramping trips. She remembers tp pack water, fruit and muesli bars. She ties my shoe laces so they don't come loose. And, she piggy backs me across streams and ponds.
Yes, its good to find the perfect woman.

Friday, October 26, 2012

ENLIGHTENMENT .....

....hasn't reached some countries yet notably Pakistan and those unevolved Taliban. Shooting little girls who want to be educated! What's that about?



I read today of that little aresehole Kim Jong Un's latest contribution to the world. When learning that the vice-Minister of the army ' drank and caroused' during the official mourning period after the death of that even bigger arsehole, Kim Jong Il, Un's father, the little scrote ordered that he be got rid of leaving no trace. The mentally, emotionally and morally bankrupt North Koreans made the poor bastard stand on a predetermined spot where a mortar was zeroed in and he was blown up.



Remember what happened to Gadaafi? What's the bet that Kim Jong Un gets a rocket up his arse sometime in the future.


AAAAAAAAGH!

Up at 5AM today.

The Old Girl is off to Stewart Island this morning and has to be at the airport at sparrows fart.

I am off up North on the first bus so have to leave just after 7 so got up when she did.

How does Richard (of RBB) do it?

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

OCH AYE THE NOO!

So Scotland has 'independence' at last.

William Wallace, Rob Roy and my ancestors would have been pleased at seeing the sassenachs off.



Unfortunately nowadays the scottish spirit is quite diminished. Even Scotch is threatened with England now making a decent version. No, the Scottish spirit is more likely found in a can of overstrength lager.

Sunday, October 14, 2012

BEING THE GOOD GUY



Willow our cat enjoys our company especially as she is left in the house alone during the week (we have someone come in to feed her each day).

If I am home on my own I leave the bedroom door open so she can come in and sleep at the end of the bed during the night.

When the Old Girl is here she closes the door as, being a light sleeper she finds Willow's coming and going a distraction.

This morning when Willow demanded to be let in I stayed in bed being the good guy and the Old Girl got up and locked Willow in at the other end of the house.


Sunday, October 7, 2012

YAHOO IN BED WITH SKY

                                 




                   "Boks blitzed after half time"

Screamed the headline on Yahoo news when I turned the bloody computer on.

We don't subscribe to Sky Sports so watch delayed telecasts of rugby test matches.
Unfortunately when the games are overseas the delayed broadcasts are many hours later so the chances of finding out the result before watching are increased.

This morning I forgot and turned on the computer to see what the silly old ...  Richard (of RBB) was up to. And saw the rugby result. Bugger!

This was just too obvious I thought so did a google search on any affiliation between SKY TV and Yahoo. Guess what? There is a very strong one.

Are these bastards deliberately broadcasting the sports news in this way in order to drive viewers into subscribing to SKY Sports?

I think so.


Saturday, October 6, 2012

U-TURNS

I don't mind U-turns in government when the result is good.
Very little with our current government impresses me. The PM is a joke. His deputy is a feeble prat and his ministers have almost all disgraced themselves over the last couple of years with arrogance, stupidity, lying, incompetence,  etc. Yes, I know, I could be talking about a Labour Government of a couple of years ago or indeed any government around the world but.....

The U-turn of Associate Immigration Minister Kate Wilkinson over the rapist Mike Tyson's visit is encouraging. Of course I could say " what the hell was the silly woman thinking" in granting a visa in the first place but that's water under the bridge. Let's be consistent and if the law says that convicted felons of major crimes (and rape is a major crime) are not allowed into the country then apply it.













Wednesday, October 3, 2012

SPACE JUNK

I saw on the news tonight the plan for the space industry to develop crafts to collect space junk.




This space junk apparently interferes with very impotant things.

Like, umm,

Like .... communications.

Now communications are important.

Without morse code for example the Titanic would have sunk and many lives would be lost ....oh, sorry ....

Nowadays communications are important.

It provides cell-phones, internet, Facebook, reality TV .....oh, sorry

 
And





=






Why can't those millions go to cleaning up this kind of junk or educating the morons not to drop it?


NIPPLES

Its cold today, my nipples stick out like bing cherries.

Actually I stole that expression from Catch 22 when Yossarian and the other aircrew were fantasising about the general's assistant. Heller said that the nurse had nipples like bing cherries.

I didn't know what a bing cherry was but I got a hard-on thinking about that as I'm sure did every other 14 y.o. who was reading Catch 22 at the time.

I've since found out what a bing cherry is. Here's a picture of one:


My opening line was literary licence as my nipples are not standing out that much, but it is cold.

Why do nipples stand out when its cold?

I wonder if Richard (of RBB) knows?